Self​-​Portrait

by ♐♠P (ArrowAceP)

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A collection of songs with deeply personal meanings.

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released November 12, 2015

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♐♠P (ArrowAceP) Lawrenceville, Georgia

20-something vocal synth composer with no discernible taste or genre. Y'all can just call me Sandr Spade.

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Track Name: YOHIOloid - ¿QUEER?
(One two, one two, one two, one two)
(In out, up down, right wrong, try again)
(One two, one two, one two, one two)
(In out, up down, right wrong, try again)

All my life I was told
that there are two types of people
M and F, dimorphism
of the fickle human nature

But that can't be right, can it?
One or two, not both or neither
"They say science has proved that"
Your feelings are trivial
"You just made all that shit up"
"You know you were born a ___"
"It's not something you can choose"
Am I an anomoly?

(One two, one two, one two, one two)
(In out, up down, right wrong, try again)
(One two, one two, one two, one two)
(In out, up down, right wrong, try again)

There are roles we take on
because of past generations
A or B, left or right
any other answer's a lie

Why then am I an outcast?
What am I, a deviant?
"God said" "science has proved that"
Both are outdated sources
As Homo sapiens we
tend to eradicate that
which we feel is not "normal"
But may in fact be just that

"The mirror facinates
Me and sends me into
A frenzy. I cannot
Stand to look at myself
I am uncomfortable
In my own skin I am
Not what you believe I
Am a human being"

Quite the opposite I
Understand that you are
Entering a realm of
Existential crisis.
Remember who loves you.
There are people out there
Who can't live without you.
Please do not just give up!

Do not give up!
Do not give up!
Do not give up!
You are important.
No matter what
Just don't give up
It get's better
E-ven-tu-al-ly

Quietly we
Undertake the most straightforward
Entrance to the source of
Empathy to save us.
Remember we are not
Freaks we are just like you
Human beings we have
Feelings that can get hurt.

Maginalized
Orientation, Gender
Identities and
Intersex people exist. Yes,
Sticks and stones can break our
Bones but words can cause
Damage that cannot be
Reversed no matter what
I
DO!

(One two, one two, one two, one two)
(In out, up down, right wrong, try again)
(One two, one two, one two, one two)
(In out, up down, right wrong, try again)

(One two, one two, one two, one two)
(In out, up down, right wrong, try again)
(One two, one two, one two, one two)
(In out, up down, right wrong, try again)

(One two, one two, one two, one two)
(In out, up down, right wrong, try again)
(One two, one two, one two, one two)
(In out, up down, right wrong, try again
Track Name: Bruno, Clara - arrow-♠ce
When I was just a little kid
Everyone else was milling 'bout
Talking 'bout all the things they did
And who all they had done them with

But I
I just sat
In the corner and thought
Why
Would they bother
With weird things like that?

When it is the norm to exclude those
that do not feel the same way you do?
Why is it that I am abnormal,
and pushed aside and under a rug?
You know we are not freaks of nature
we are healthy, we're not ill either
Yet despite all this you still insist
that the A stands for all the Allies.

As I got even older still
Nothing much else changed around me
People still talked 'bout things they did
But the subjects were not the same

Still I
don't quite get
Why they choose to do that
Being
In relations
With people in that way

When it is the norm to exclude those
that do not feel the same way you do?
Why is it that I am abnormal,
and pushed aside and under a rug?
You know we are not freaks of nature
we are healthy, we're not ill either
Yet despite all this you still insist
that the A stands for all the Allies.

Now that I am a grown adult
I know all of the in's and outs
But despite my knowledge I
Haven't experienced it myself

I hear
about it
on radio and TV
But
I never hear
about people like me

When it is the norm to exclude those
that do not feel the same way you do?
Why is it that I am abnormal,
and pushed aside and under a rug?
You know we are not freaks of nature
we are healthy, we're not ill either
Yet despite all this you still insist
that the A stands for all the Allies.
Track Name: Avanna - The Song That Crows Sing
Lift you head
Lift your head
Smile brightly: you aren't dead
As the sun comes up and casts it's silken shadow on your bed
Drop that knife
Drop those pills
You are stronger than your will
To end your life at its cusp of greatness because you are ill

And the blue birds sing
What the blue birds will
But the corvids are your respite for they croak and eat their fill
And the flowers grow
Even though they know
That one day their time will come and they will return to their home