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Self​-​Portrait

by ♐♠P (ArrowAceP)

/
1.
(One two, one two, one two, one two) (In out, up down, right wrong, try again) (One two, one two, one two, one two) (In out, up down, right wrong, try again) All my life I was told that there are two types of people M and F, dimorphism of the fickle human nature But that can't be right, can it? One or two, not both or neither "They say science has proved that" Your feelings are trivial "You just made all that shit up" "You know you were born a ___" "It's not something you can choose" Am I an anomoly? (One two, one two, one two, one two) (In out, up down, right wrong, try again) (One two, one two, one two, one two) (In out, up down, right wrong, try again) There are roles we take on because of past generations A or B, left or right any other answer's a lie Why then am I an outcast? What am I, a deviant? "God said" "science has proved that" Both are outdated sources As Homo sapiens we tend to eradicate that which we feel is not "normal" But may in fact be just that "The mirror facinates Me and sends me into A frenzy. I cannot Stand to look at myself I am uncomfortable In my own skin I am Not what you believe I Am a human being" Quite the opposite I Understand that you are Entering a realm of Existential crisis. Remember who loves you. There are people out there Who can't live without you. Please do not just give up! Do not give up! Do not give up! Do not give up! You are important. No matter what Just don't give up It get's better E-ven-tu-al-ly Quietly we Undertake the most straightforward Entrance to the source of Empathy to save us. Remember we are not Freaks we are just like you Human beings we have Feelings that can get hurt. Maginalized Orientation, Gender Identities and Intersex people exist. Yes, Sticks and stones can break our Bones but words can cause Damage that cannot be Reversed no matter what I DO! (One two, one two, one two, one two) (In out, up down, right wrong, try again) (One two, one two, one two, one two) (In out, up down, right wrong, try again) (One two, one two, one two, one two) (In out, up down, right wrong, try again) (One two, one two, one two, one two) (In out, up down, right wrong, try again) (One two, one two, one two, one two) (In out, up down, right wrong, try again) (One two, one two, one two, one two) (In out, up down, right wrong, try again
2.
When I was just a little kid Everyone else was milling 'bout Talking 'bout all the things they did And who all they had done them with But I I just sat In the corner and thought Why Would they bother With weird things like that? When it is the norm to exclude those that do not feel the same way you do? Why is it that I am abnormal, and pushed aside and under a rug? You know we are not freaks of nature we are healthy, we're not ill either Yet despite all this you still insist that the A stands for all the Allies. As I got even older still Nothing much else changed around me People still talked 'bout things they did But the subjects were not the same Still I don't quite get Why they choose to do that Being In relations With people in that way When it is the norm to exclude those that do not feel the same way you do? Why is it that I am abnormal, and pushed aside and under a rug? You know we are not freaks of nature we are healthy, we're not ill either Yet despite all this you still insist that the A stands for all the Allies. Now that I am a grown adult I know all of the in's and outs But despite my knowledge I Haven't experienced it myself I hear about it on radio and TV But I never hear about people like me When it is the norm to exclude those that do not feel the same way you do? Why is it that I am abnormal, and pushed aside and under a rug? You know we are not freaks of nature we are healthy, we're not ill either Yet despite all this you still insist that the A stands for all the Allies.
3.
Lift you head Lift your head Smile brightly: you aren't dead As the sun comes up and casts it's silken shadow on your bed Drop that knife Drop those pills You are stronger than your will To end your life at its cusp of greatness because you are ill And the blue birds sing What the blue birds will But the corvids are your respite for they croak and eat their fill And the flowers grow Even though they know That one day their time will come and they will return to their home

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A collection of songs with deeply personal meanings.

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released November 12, 2015

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♐♠P (ArrowAceP) Lawrenceville, Georgia

20-something vocal synth composer with no discernible taste or genre. Y'all can just call me Sandr Spade.

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